2014 King of the Hill
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Week 1 Recap

The nature of the KOTH beast is one of unpredictability. If it was easy to pick a winner of just 1 of the 16 games a week we would all quit our jobs and gamble for a living right!? 1/4 of you couldn't do it!

Note to self: The Bears stink.... avoid them at all costs this year.  Personally, I was not feeling any love for Da Bears in week 1 and I was pretty shocked at the amount of love I was seeing for them here. But then again, what do I know?  The Bills have been more like Shills for 14 years now so who'd a thunk a change was in the chilly, grey, dead, factory-fume-infused-smoggy Buffalo air? Might as well begin right there in the second city... Cutler did what he could - but when his receivers are dropping touchdown passes like they're wearing the 'green and white' - you are not going to win many games. Da Bears doubled Da Shills in all the important statistical categories -  including turnovers - which will slay any dragon in the NFL. So with that late, dropped TD pass by Brandon Marshall, we say goodbye to a bunch of you. Jeez! Including one of my favorite new team name creations: 'Chicago Fire' - for a new guy named O'Leary (look it up if you don't get it) - which will never be used again - this year at least - sorry buddy! We hardly knew ye (or your 17 other Wrigley-gum chewing, brat-loving, Oprah watching, beer-swigging, deep-dish-downing, Cub-loathing, Ditka-worshiping friends). We did learn one thing though yesterday: Apparently a kritter will win versus a gritter in an old-fashioned, football-laden, down home grudge match. But if this was KMR versus KMR again like last year - I know KMR would win. Every time. And lastly, to our pain in ttttthe ass friend - you better ace that LSAT test because your team-picking-abilities are telling you not to gamble on football for a living. Try betting the greyhounds next time.

Next up in the 'shocking' category - we find last year's upstart 11-5 Kansas City Chiefs (note to all remaining players: KC is hardly a masterpiece - they are actually 2-7 since starting last season 9-0). So like 1/3 of the cattle in the U.S. who meet their fates in KC so that we can have 'fresh' steaks delivered to our front doors -  4 of you, too, have been unceremoniously prodded out of existence. Ouch Justin! I tried to sell you on the free flight the Jets were offering into Week 2 - but you weren't buying. 

The Saints lost a stunner down under in hotlanta last night too. Hofstra's pride and joy, Marques Colston, fumbles a catch, the Falcons recover, go 3 and nothing, only to kick an easy FG for the OT win. Note to Drew Brees: Try the Dayquil next time - that Nyquil can be pretty tiring the next day (not to mention habit forming). Hats off to Matt Ryan, though, for a career day at the wheel... 447 yards in the air with 3 TDs and if this is the new norm in Georgia, no dome is going to ground those dirty birds.

Buccaneers lost too. I can only guess that Greenville Mike saw a light go on when he heard Cam Newton was out and made the last-second, fateful decision to steer his perfectly-righted pirate ship right toward those Cam-less Panthers. Sorry Pardner! You looked a gift-panther in the mouth and lost!

And lastly: who doesn't like it when the Crybrady loses? (Besides the 4 saps who took the Pats here I mean). Correct me if I'm wrong BVZ, but aren't you a fish monger? How could you do that to yourself yesterday and bet against your own team like that?  It might be time to hand in your teal and orange membership card now, sir, before Dandy Dan Marino gets wind of what you did! Note to all remaining: These are hardly your 'laces out' Dolphins anymore... we need to keep an eye on them - especially us Jet fans.

We do have a few picks tonight for the Lions (and oddly enough,1 for the Giants (a head scratcher if you ask me - but who knows what will happen) and 1 for the Cardinals)... 

On to week 2 for the remaining 3/4s of us. I will have exact numbers for us in the Friday reminder - but it looks like the pot will hit about $3,200 this year due to some last-minute recruiting....

Have a good week folks and talk to you Friday!

Players in Week 2

IF you do not see your name here, let me know! That means you've been deactivated for losing in week 1. I make mistakes - so if your team won last week, let me know and I will check.


Long Beach Kristin

Saint Sandra

Big Show

Jubal Early


Poppa Lou

Slim Jim


Joey The Legend


Steve the Sunger


Bob. D.

Craig D.

Pat B.

Pacman 3


Stanek of the North



Momma Gas

Holy Molson

Elvis Lives





Danny K.





John 3

"Roger Roger" Houston





Raider Hater

Mower Man


Steve J

Richie B.

The Beasts


Second Petite

Mee Name is Kevin

The Tim-man


Buster Gazoo

Hurricane Hoffman

JC from the Babylon

Rich and Famous


Kritter vs. Gritter



Carluccis Way



Jeff the Younger

Patty K

Senior Dog


Fall King


Jon D

Little Show



Tom Jackson


Jessica D

Air Jordan

Matty D



Smokey McNice

3 and Out